They may not lie about substantial things and sometimes the lie is one of omission but no one tells the absolute or at least the whole truth all the time.

He or she may lie about past sexual experience or about altercations with the law like a DUI arrest or other criminal infraction. Men will often lie about their finances or their job or education.

Most of the time these little lies or omissions are harmless and nothing to be concerned about. To insist on complete honesty from a date, especially a first or second date is simply not practical.

After all he or she is trying to make an impression on you and sometimes they will let a little white one slip into the conversation to help his or her cause.

To hire a private detective to confirm or deny inconsequential facts about someone is foolish and a complete waste of time and money.

However, when the relationship becomes more serious and something he or she says brings to question a material fact about the person, the possibility of hiring someone to do fact finding investigation may be a prudent thing to do.

There are many public record searches that you can do yourself today.  The Internet has made checking someone out a lot easier and a simple Google of the person’s name may be all you need to do.

There are also public record databases for birth, death and marriage license data that are easily accessible by anyone with a computer. If you don’t own a computer just go to the public library and use one there for free. There is usually someone there that can help you if you need it.

If you do your search and are still not satisfied then maybe it’s time to hire a professional who can do a more in depth investigation. Hiring a private investigator is sort of like hiring a best friend. The investigator will need personal information about you and about the person you want information about and there needs to be a strong relationship of trust between you and the investigator.

In most states private investigators are licensed and bonded. Many private investigators are former police officers and some offer special services like polygraph and PSE which is a kind of lie detector that uses voice stress analysis to determine truthfulness.

Private investigators buy access to criminal and document record databases that are not accessible to the public. They are also able to do interstate investigations by contacting another investigator in another state for local assistance.

If you decide to hire a private detective be aware that their services are not cheap. They often charge a fee plus expenses and the expenses can sometimes be as much as their fee.

One of the best ways to find someone fair and reasonable is to ask your attorney who he uses. Or ask a friend who may have hired a private investigator in the past. Checking with your local PBA or FOP police organizations may also be helpful as many private detectives remain active in these police organizations after they retire from the force.

Always get an estimate of the cost and always set a limit on the expenses you are willing to spend to acquire the information. A legitimate private detective will give you a detailed report with itemized expenses and a reasonable fee.

Numb and blank? Did you just discover your partner’s been cheating on you?

Do you have a zillion questions shooting through your head? Here is the harsh truth behind her behavior. We hope its starts a positive dialog between you two.

“Women Don’t Cheat! Or Do They?”

You are not alone – a lot of people share this misconception of the fairer sex. But fact is, evolutionarily, women are programmed to desire multiple partners purely for the benefit of the species – to increase genetic diversity!

In fact, polygamy and communal sexual activities were once the hallmarks of tribal societies. It’s almost as if Mother Nature intended her girls to have multiple partners but civilization fixed that.

So all, who imagine cheating as a male prerogative, rethink that theory and know – it was not your fault she cheated. She cheated because as an individual, she needed to.

“She Betrayed Me?”

Women cheat like men do, and often for similar reasons – feel-good factor, sex, control, power! They just go about it a bit differently.

Their response to, and expectations from the affair also differ from those of men. Men are easily aroused with mere visual stimuli and can have unemotional sexual experiences. With women, sex is a more intense and emotive experience. Not all women are able to have an impulsive affair.

If your partner cheated on you, and you know she isn’t the promiscuous type, then you should know she did it for a reason.

“I Failed Her!”

Men can get so caught up with their chief role in life- work; that they forget they share space with another person who needs them more than just as breadwinner.

So when was the last time you thanked her for dinner or bought her a useless trinket or took her on a vacation? When a woman doesn’t get the right signs from her partner, she automatically begins to wonder and then, wander.

You were supposed to give her something basic that you have probably failed to deliver. So she failed you. It’s a two way thing. But, stop guilt tripping. She took the extreme step, not you – no matter how you failed her. But you must also stop hating her, because you drove her to this extreme.

“What Next?”

Remember one fact – affairs are a sign of a relationship in danger but they do not spell the end. Especially when there are kids involved.

As the wronged partner, you can choose to learn from this error or, you can draw the line and move on, without ever knowing who to blame for the end of a relationship. But try to remember, failed relationships are not a one-way problem.

Women don’t just have affairs – they do it for a reason – for profit, for excitement, for revenge, for lust or because something is lacking in the relationship they are in. So talk to her and see if there is room for forgiveness and improvement.